For the past 14 months, I have enjoyed an opportunity to begin my life again. After countless years of living in a fog, I enrolled in the Hazelton treatment program for 29 days and began a life of sobriety.
Until last week, that was going very smoothly. The report in Thursday's Brainerd Dispatch was chilling, but at the same time cathartic. It allows me now to write publicly to those I have hurt and let down in the past - my friends, my co-workers and, most importantly, my family.
The disease of alcoholism is insidious. I knew for many years I was suffering from it, but was unable on my own to fix myself. I was crying out for help, but did not know what to do until forced to make a decision. I have made serious mistakes and let others down. For that, I am very, very sorry.
I look at this new life as an opportunity for me to begin to fix myself and my relationships with others. Do I wish that I could have moved forward without this issue coming up? Of course I do. I also know that I need to understand that this road to recovery would not always be easy. This proves that in spades.
I am trying my best to control those things that I can control, and trying to understand that there are things I cannot. The reaction of others to my mistakes in the past is beyond my control. My future is at least somewhat in mine. I can begin that future one day at a time.
I am by nature a very optimistic person so I look forward to bright days ahead. I ask for forgiveness for the past and want you all to know again, that I am sorry for the hurt and neglect.
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